The Content Feeling

So why is it that when we want something so badly, something we’d do anything to have, it becomes not so important once we get it? Take being a child for instance. That one toy that you want and you tell your parents you’d play with it all the time if they’d just get it for you. Boom, you have it, you’ve played with it and now there it sits. Along with all the other must have toys. How about in middle school, those new Jordan shoes you needed so badly that you gave up receiving a years allowance for. You wear them for a few days, they hurt your feet and are so uncomfortable. Though, its all worth it. Giving up the allowance, walking like a duck and getting blisters all for that one comment from the “cool” kid. “Yo!, no way! You got the new Jordan’s!? While he points his finger smiling in jealousy, along with the other ” cool” kids noticing. Bam! You’re in, you’ve been noticed and now part of the “in” crowd. So a week later you tell your mom, “these shoes hurt to bad. Can we take them back?”. Seeing the devastating look knowing your mom spent a good chunk of your dads pay to please you and help your school days fill with happiness instead of envy over the other kids. Or that moment in high school when you know your parents won’t say no, so during school shopping it went from Arizona clothes to Nike and Addidas. The site of your mom’s face as the cashier tells the total due and your mother slowly, hesitantly handing over a credit card trying to fake a smile. It’s all worth it though, when your new to a high school and want so badly to be popular. You have a chance here. No one knows you…yet. Wearing around that Nike hoodie seeing the small town kids stare at you like ” you’re somebody”. You’re not just another peer in the hallway. Going home feeling so anxious to tell your parents “it does make a difference, thank you for the nice clothes, I’m noticed here”. The look you get from your mother the day she realizes she helped create such a popular and happy girl. A girl with so many friends she couldn’t keep track. Younger, older, way older. You say an age and she had a friend to fit it. The expression you see on your parents face that says ” I’m proud “. An expression you’ll never forget but try so hard to see again. Try so hard…

The toys, the shoes, the clothes and friends. You’ve got it all. So why each time you’ve gotten what you so desperately wanted did you still feel so unsatisfied? Why was it never enough? Why deep down is there still an empty feeling lingering? Material things might make you the person others want you to be but it won’t always make you who you want to be. You have this emotion inside, deep down, your soul. To full fill what it needs and wants you first need to feel happiness for just being yourself. Life can’t be all rainbows and butterfly’s, though we could keep wishing for it. ┬áHonestly, it’s good for the mind, body and soul to feel and know what hurt is, what regret feels like and what it feels like to have loved and lost. If we never feel these things, how would we ever really truly know when we love or when we do regret? For instance, knowing right from wrong is learned by usually doing the wrong first. Men especially take advantage of this line in life and that’s okay because most men need wrong doing to realize the right in their life. When you get to the point of being “content” in life, will it remain or fade? Will you finally be satisfied or still have that lingering feeling there of “I want”?


A little friendly reminder

This is my new escape. We all need to be able to get a chance to express our gratitude for one of the best things about life…ourselves. Our journeys. Sometimes we feel lost and get so caught up in everyone and everything else that we lose sight of who we are and what we aspire to be. After many years of “finding myself” I have finally realized that I have this urge and feel this importance to help spread joy, hope, love, faith, meaning and every other feeling I can. As well as funny, sad, happy and just downright good stories. In my life of this short time I’ve been on this earth, I’ve seen so many beautiful, heartbreaking, amazing and unbelievable things. I feel I could give some good insight to some, good laughs to others and maybe a pick me up to someone who’s going through a rough patch or just having a bad day. I have a story to tell and if this is the start then so be it. I hope you enjoy my blogging and if not, well then… Stop coming to my page silly ­čÖé

First actual blog is coming shorly.

“The Content Feeling”

Hello world!

Hey!! So I started this blog for my personal happiness and to prosper my thoughts, stories and feelings to my fellow readers!! I want someone to be able to say “because of you, I didn’t give up or give in”.

Happy blogging!